About this Blogger

"The eyes are the windows to the soul; if you look into them long enough, one's true self is revealed." ~ Nicole Dawson

The eyes are the windows to the soul; if you look into them long enough, one’s true self is revealed.” ~ Nicole Dawson

My experiences in life and the people who have marred it (or polished it) have helped shape who I am today, whether that’s good or bad… Well, that’s up to you to decide.

Although I have had some good times and great memories in life, I have also had some dark, desolate experiences that no child should ever endure, and that darkness still creeps within me and reminds me of its existence through nightmares, my thought process, my decisions, my actions, and yes — it haunts me even today, as I watch my own children grow.  Because of those childhood experiences, I have had very little emotional connection to anyone, even to my parents.

When I was a toddler, I was visited by my Shaman-like grandfather while I was deathly sick in the hospital during a wake & funeral procession. Did I mention that he was dead when he visited me? It was his wake, his funeral. Crazy? I’ve been known to be a Ghost Whisperer of sorts, and if you were to ask my mother — she’d tell you I’ve been that way since birth, apparently. I try to suppress it, I tried to ignore it – but in the end, I’ve accepted that this is just part of my life and who I am. It’s not going anywhere. I just wish they’d stop “marking” my body & securing their place in my memories…

I tend to have lucid, prophetic dreams (known as Oneiromancy) — many of which have prepared me for the things that have happened in my life. Huge, earth-changing or humanity-changing things. Things that changed me. Things that change you and those around you. To be honest, I’ve been surrounded with the paranormal since birth. Just so you know — ignorance has not been bliss…

By the age of 10, I had prophesied becoming a young mother, long before I’d become a wife… It became my reality. If only I had listened to the voice inside my head more… Or was that really more of the voice of something else? Not that I regret motherhood, but I do wish I would’ve had my children under better circumstances… or at least, through a better father.

Everything I’ve been through, happened for a reason.  What that reason is — I don’t know… yet. I do know that somehow, my experiences have made me stronger, independent, fiercely loyal, but also extremely guarded. Somewhere in my journey of life, I began to recognize a pattern… I realized that I may be philophobic..? I just don’t know…

This blog is my means of letting go, of knowing myself, of letting significant others know all of me – even that darkly hidden me; of an attempt to relive good times while learning from dark ones; of exploring who I truly am, what I really like, and hopefully of being able to maintain balance in life as a new-found Taoist.  Welcome to my journey…

[signed] Xorinth

One thought on “About this Blogger

  1. Xorinth, how refreshing to ‘meet’ you. It saddens me that you live with nightmares from your childhood though. I had a fairly vanilla upbringing – but my intellect has taken me to places far and wide. My mother always prayed for an intelligent child – I think what she really wanted was a smart one though.

    I am a dreamer and a thinker, but unlike your prophetic dreams, I dream consciously and those dreams are the ones that change my journey and my path. They set me up and allow me the freedom to put myself in a different setting or situation. But it is my choice which path I choose to follow.

    Your prophecy of becoming a young mother reminds me of my own experience. I had always said that if I didn’t fall pregnant the day I lost my virginity that I would struggle to have children. And so… it took me seeking medical advice to conceive. I know now that this was me setting out my intentions to the universe as a teenager – and when you set forth those intentions, the universe will make things fall into and out of place as it needs for your journey to take place.

    I hope you don’t mind me sharing parts of my mind with you though… if you do, I shall refrain.

    You say that everything happens for a reason – but you don’t know what reason. The way I see it… most things happen because we CHOOSE those paths. Sometimes, it just happens. My one mantra is always that “All is as it should be”. When our normal becomes unpleasantly chaotic we pick ourselves up and we move forward – never stagnating – never remaining in the unpleasant. We transcend from unpleasant chaos to beautiful chaos to our normal. We have the strength and the power to enjoy our life on this earth. We all have to remember to have fun. Not to be consumed and overwhelmed by anything.

    I am also extremely guarded, shrouded by Titans, frozen in ice and collapsed into the earth. But, I allow myself to feel what I feel. I make connections, I love, I hurt, I get angered. But I never let any positive or negative control me or rule me. I become neutral, it takes some time, but I DO feel and then I detach my emotions and from there I just enjoy and glory in the divinity in this world. All is as it should be.

    I look forward to you reading through your journey and having you say as you please. It’s something a lot of us don’t do enough of!

    Liked by 1 person

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